So... what's happened in the last week?

Well, the following are the happenings since I arrived home:

1. Apartment building got broken into a day before I got back... apparently, this has happened twice before, while I was in Ireland. After the second time, a security system complete with a surveillance camera and whatnot was put in place. And then... the building got broken into again! Following is the description of the man posted by the Home Owners Association (don't ask!) President (oh, don't even go THERE!): An African-American man, 5'8" - 5'10", about 45 years of age, seemingly homeless, around 170 lbs, afro haircut, wearing painter jeans (whatever the hell those are), a black down jacket and black cap. This is what was stolen from my laundry/storage unit: a garment case, paper towels and laundry detergent (What the FUCK?? Who the hell steals laundry detergent? ESPECIALLY if one is homeless?!?! Has SF suddenly deemed it necessary for the homeless to clean up or ship out? What am I missing here?). Anyway, this has led me to accumulate a whole bloody Everest worth of laundry at home, as I don't get home before dark, and refuse to go down to the laundry room after dark. This is a lot more traumatic than ninja thieves, I tell you!

2. Politics at work is as much a bitch as ever. Seems more so now, given the year's hiatus from it. The cliques are straight out of high school, and the gossip is simply unforgiving. The good thing is that you're pretty much assured that you WILL be talked about, so you can either spend your time being a wallflower and avoiding the inevitable, or do completely outrageous things that give the thwarted Joan Rivers of the world something to talk about (for those who don't know: she's a red carpet critic known for her acerbic commentary on matters of diminishing importance, such as fashion).

3. Went to the opera on tuesday night, courtesy NW, a good friend of mine. "The Magic Flute". No snickers, please... we all know that this being SF, the likelihood of this being ...er...alternative porn would be high, but this was the real deal... Mozart and all, yo!! Being the "culture vulture" that I am (thanks, DB), I actually really enjoyed it (nobody was more surprised than me!), although given it was over 3 hours, I did fear that some arias were going to lull me into sleep & I'd crack my skull on the back of the seat.

4. Forced fun at work on wednesday. There was food, drink, and dancing... I availed of none...merely showed up to announce my return to the US as if it were a debutante ball (well, why not? A fourth of the company was there!). Stayed for 2 glasses of sparkling water, and blew kisses on the way out (also, had to hit the road before my colleagues with >3 drinks under their belts did).
This event was:
- in the daytime (3 p.m.)
- right on the water, on the patio of an Italian restaurant close to work that I am convinced is a front for the mob...has to be...it's not as if they excel in food or drink selections, and the staff look like you DO NOT want to be sending your gnocchi back, y'hear?
- Clearly blessed with much talent: I was told by several parties that I missed an "amazing" dance-off by arriving late. There IS a God.

5. Unpacking is finally complete... took forever, mostly because all I did was watch the boxes and suitcases apathetically for days, waiting for the elves to do their thing. Finally got my ass in gear when the aforementioned units of temporary storage began being used as chair/stools. My God, there is SO much stuff in this apartment... was it always this way?? Did we always have enough ethernet cables (or blank CR-RWs or pristine issues of National Geographic still in their shrink wrap) to be declared the leaders of the free world if they became the currency of choice upon alien invasion? There's no room to put the stuff I've got back, and there isn't even any new stuff, really... just shit I took from here! Oh, and while I've been gone, MR has tried to take over my domain and has expanded his wardrobe space to three times what it used to be! Sneaky, but guess who's at home alone doing a spring clean NOW, huh? huh?

6. I tried to install a hook into the back of the bedroom door today. A phillips head screwdriver, a (wood?) screw and the hook were the apparatus involved in this experiment. And a hammer, for backup, when only brawn not brains would work. Using all of the above, I managed to screw in this hook , and hung both pairs of jeans on it promptly. As I was high-fiving myself into "you go, girl" land, the hook fell out, and took along with it the jeans and a small portion of the (ply?)wood previously associated with the door. Emm.. turns out my real talent lies in my fingers after all... as in typing a note to the landlord feigning innocence and asking him to take a look at the door next time he's over. Needless to say, I intend to blame it all on MR.

So that's it for now...